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Spring Y3
8.29.19 - 10.13.19
by Split, 08-31-2019, 09:06 PMRE: News Archive
It's time for an update to how we handle time! Now that we are a couple days into the first season of this year, I'll explain how our flow of time will now work. We will be keeping double time, but our time will be more fluid. Essentially, from here on, you will be allowed to back date threads.

All threads from here on out will need to have a date AND time listed in the thread title. This will allow users to see exactly when a thread occurred.

Previously, if you posted a new thread, the time and date that thread was posted was the time in which that event was happening. We are altering the rules regarding timelines to allow you to backdate threads for any date in the current year. (This is Year 3.) So this year started on 8.29.19. You may date a thread from the current date backward to the first day of the year. So as today is 8/31/19, you may date a thread for any date between 8/29/19 and 8.31.19. You may not date threads forward.

So as the year progresses, you will be able to date threads for any time that has already passed in the year, but you must be careful not to break your own character's timelines. The best way to track a character's timeline is to go to their profile and click the button on it labelled "Thread Log". It shows every thread the character has ever participated in. Likewise, events that would break your timelines should also be carefully monitored. So, for example, if I posted a thread for a character dated for today in the desert, it would break the timeline if I posted a thread dated for the 29th in which they ended up dying.

Excessively breaking your own timelines or other characters' timelines is frowned upon and if done consistently, Staff may intervene. Tomorrow I will be instituting changes to leader logs and pregnancies that reflect these changes, so keep an eye out! Please DM or PM a staffer if you have any questions.
News Archive
Character OTS Katchneil
Relationship OTS Ariodeoux & Dragon
Player OTS Kaitlyn
Thread OTS Detatched

[P] Nothing's ever built to last [Bliz]


Karama

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#1
*M warning due to the general theme of this thread and possible mentions of Karama's rape that took place in Shison.

When momentum halted, her eyes squeezed shut, the hyena imbracing the aching impact. Her horns crashed into the towering tree with a dull thump! as she charged into it full force. Her mind raced, scattered and disordered like that of her physical appearance as she imagined the bark of the tree, which splintered and flew in pieces with impact, to be Shikikan's own skull. She leaned her full weight into the tree as her head lifted, her curved horns making vertical indentations into the tree as she moved them up along the surface before quickly pulling her head back down. Karama backed up several steps, lips lifted as quick breaths softly huffed through slightly parted jaws. That hit was just as dazing as the last few, and admittedly, the hyena felt as if her own horns may crumble into dust with one more strike. 

She hated being constantly looked over by Kuruan with invasive analysis. She hated having to be near the children. She hated having even an ounce of responsibility for them. She wanted nothing to do with any of those kids, who she couldn't offer the effort to remember their names. At least the older lioness seemed to be inspecting her less and less. Everyone could fuck off for all she cared. In fact, it was preferred. She would leave, right now, if she wasn't certain it would come back to bite her in the ass. 

She stomped away from the tree she had just assaulted, making her way further and further South. She kept going, not even paying mind to where she was going, so long the powerful scent of Shison remained to tell her she was in the Rainforest. Eventually, she could go no further. Unless she desired to swim forever, that is. Her tongue passed softly over her teeth, and Karama felt irritated that her magic seemed to come to a halt. No progression. No signs of evolving. How was she to fell Shikikan if her magic stayed as it was? She had to get all of the physical power she possibly could. She lay at the shore, staring without a word. 

She should have taken Ireneus when she had the chance.

But instead of a Queen with power, she was a Thing that would like nothing more than to dig herself into the ground, deeper than light could ever penetrate. Where not a single living soul could reach her.

Bliz

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#2
Bliz hadn't talked to Kara yet. He was honestly scared to. What would he say? How could he make this any better? He couldn't. All he had was his anger and guilt. And shame He felt horrid for what happened. And he just watched it. #Water Walk allowed him to walk along the beach on the surf. It was a bit difficult with the movement of the water but he was getting the hang of it. As he paced the rocky tops a familiar scent crossed his nose. Carried by the breeze. He felt his heart drop. This was it. He had to do it now. Eyes franticly looked around for her. Trying to follow the scent. There. There she was. On the beach. She was healing up at least. That made him feel better a bit. He started to panic. What would he say to her? What would he do? What if she hated him now? All these fears rushed through him in a single moment.

No. Im better then this. Gathering up his courage he walked across the water. Attempting to face her directly, stopping ten feet back. Still on the waves. He shallowed hard. Trying to get the pressure out of his throat. It felt like it just dried shut. While starting to feel like he was going to puke. He didn't know where to start. He just looked at her with sorrow filled eyes. Visibly trying to say something. Anything. But words just wouldn't come out of his mouth. 

@Mewwn

Karama

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#3

She wondered if a trip outside of the territory would do her good. Shikikan hadn't said, after all, she had to stay within the forest. The scent of the male throughout Shison was more than enough to give her a headache. She had to live in the stench. But would he take her trips outside as a warning of abandonment and rebel? She wasn't sure. Maybe if she went out of the territory, she wouldn't be able to help but constantly be out. That would be a cause for alarm, in Shikikan's eyes, she thought. How she would love to tear through him as she did the wild dogs. She tried not to think about Aesir much these days. The fact that Aesir had existed at one point, and no longer, was a constant imprint of her failures. Time and time again to try and repair the relationship broken by an abduction in which the failures had begun. She missed the days when he was so tiny and helpless, curled against her belly. She had never thought to crave so much tenderness before she gave birth. But now? She missed it so much, when things appeared to be okay.

The fact that she had to help take care of not one, but multiple unrelated kids felt like a spit in the face.

A familiar scent wafted close, and Karama was almost inclined to feign sleep to repel disturbance. Though, the idea of remaining laying down made her blood feel cold. Without even thinking about it, she stood. Soon, she would spot the black feline, moving closer, yet staying no more than ten feet back. For a moment, she watched the waves of the shore come in and out around his paws. Then she looked toward his own face, angling her head so that her right eye could take in as much area as possible. He looked stressed. In response, the hyena's ears tilted back slightly as her brows furrowed crossly. "I'm not interested in a staring contest." Observing stares was something Karama would rather not think about. She probably had enough of that during the meeting that went awry. "What do you want?"


Bliz

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#4
She spoke first.. as probably was expected. She was not one to wait.. as he had found out. He let out a sigh at the blunt words. He dropped his eyes to her paws and ears folded back slightly in shame. A deep sigh left his maw and flexed his claws a little bit as he thought what to say. "I.. I just wanted to check up on you.." words stuttered out of his mouth. Unsure how to really speak to her right now. He didn't want to drag up sensitive topics and make it worse of her. But he wanted to apologize at his failure and be there for her. He just didnt know how to. It wasn't like they were close.. but she was the only one he really knew and he knew she was going though a hard time. "And.. and apologize for my failure to help you.. I froze.. I was trying.. I.. I was trying to set things up so that I could protect you from him.." He babbled out the last bit. Very ungracefully. How could he tell her he froze because he was having flash backs to what happened to his family? To his mother? And she probably wouldn't take well to him saying he was trying to protect her. After all she was very strong willed if he had learned anything about her it was that. He decided to look up and try to meet her eyes at the last part. Not wanting to come closer incase she didn't want him near. She might even hate him now.

Karama

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#5
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
She watched as Bliz started speaking. Check up on her? That was Kuruan’s job, and Karama would like it if the lioness neglected such a job. She didn’t need anyone to ‘check on her’. She didn’t want anyone to check on her. She wanted everyone to fuck off and leave her alone. She didn’t inturrupt him, though, and she shifted her weight slightly as she watched, tugging the left corner of her lip slightly as frustration burned her chest. She didn’t ask Bliz to do shit like that. He didn’t need to do shit like that. ”I can protect myself. I can!” Her sturdy legs carried the hyena over in careless stomps as she aimed to close the distance between the two by just a few feet. ”He only got me because he’s surprised me. But that won’t fucking happen again.” She didn’t need a babysitter. How could Bliz see her as such a damsel in distress?

She paused for a moment as a disturbing idea hit her. She knew it wasn’t so, as the timeframe was well long enough to start showing obvious signs. But the very idea that it could have happened made her nauseated with a mixture of disgust and horror. She never even thought about it. Never even thought about pregnancy being possible with the first assault back with the black leopard. It could have happened with Shikikan. She was extremely lucky it hadn’t. What if Shikikan surprised her again, and next time she wasn’t so lucky?

No. She couldn’t give Shikikan the chance to test that. She would not even let him get close enough. Ever.

She sat, forced by the suddenly off balanced ground. Her face pointed toward the ground, and she squeezed her dark eyes shut to get her bearings. She made a mistake staying with Kimagure. That mistake started in thinking she could have something with Aesir. He was broken from the start. Completely unfixable. Things had been much better when she wasn’t affiliated with anyone. Perhaps it should have stayed that way.


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
Art by Aviaku | Coding by Mewwn

Bliz

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#6
M For some wording 
Bliz listened to her outburst of anger saying she could protect herself. Anger and guilt welled up inside of him. Tears started to form in his eyes a bit. Ears pinned against his skull and he stepped closer to her. Yelling back. "I thought my mother could protect herself! But instead She was raped and killed as I fucking ran away and I didn't want to Fail you as well!" His voice rough, hurt. He was upset. He didn't mean to spill that out to her. He hadn't wanted to tell her that. But he was just so angry. So lost and guilty. Next thing he knew though she sat down and had her head pointed to the ground. He immediately felt bad for yelling at her and attempted to close the distance between them. Head and tail drooped in a submissive way. "I.. Im sorry.. I shouldn't have yelled at you.. I just.." He trailed off again. Attempting to sit now just a few feet in front of her and let her talk if she wanted. He was not good at things like this. He had no idea what he was doing. Or why he was to attached to her. She was a friend he guessed.. but he was realizing that maybe she didn't see him that way. And maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. Why was he so bad at saying things? He never told his love he loved her.. He was a coward and ran and left his family to die. And now he was failing his only friend and he was now scared that she didn't want him around either. Maybe he should just be alone.

Karama

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#7
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
Bliz fought back, suddenly displaying an anger Karama had not seen from him. She stood her ground, though, unmoving at the time, before she had sat due to the horrific thoughts that could have been a reality. And suddenly, Bliz was closing distance, words softer and apologetic. What? Why was he apologizing when they had just started a heated argument? Her mind fought through cobwebs in a struggle to make sense of things and context. Then, after what felt like an eternity of energy-draining thinking, she realized what her display had looked like. Why was he so emotionally expressive to her? What had she done for it? "Be quiet, just shut the fuck up, for two seconds." She needed quiet. She couldn't think. Everything felt so incoherent. The demand rushed from her maw between clenched teeth as she pointed her face down and away from Bliz. It was almost--no, it was infuriating just how quickly he could change his tone for Karama. Why did he see her so weak, physically and emotionally?

He couldn't know of everything that happened before Omne. If he did, Karama could make sense of it, but she only knew the male for how long? Way after she showed up in Omne. Not long enough for him to know anything that happened pre-Omne. Not her failure to take over a group with no leader. Not her failure to keep hold of a hostaging victory. Not her violation by the black-furred feline. Not her imprisonment in the cold mountain. Not her near-death just for not showing enough respect. Not how she had to grovel at his feet and beg for her life. How could he see her how she thought he did? No one could have told him--

No one could have told him of the first rape. She hadn't told a soul. She would never tell a soul. There was only one witness, as well as the violator himself. Karama had heard nor seen anything from the witness. She had seen nothing of the violator. But someone could have told him of the mountain. Of her temporary community service for the kingdom. Of how she failed at fighting the unnamed feline off. That had to have been enough. Nothing stopped Kimagure from telling such stories, wasn't that true? Her breakdown upon Aesir's death and her failed attempt to start a rebellion against Shikian (followed by the unpleasant reward afterward) must have topped upon that, three things Bliz had witnessed for himself. It would only validate Kimagure's possible tellings that Karama failed at every turn, one way or another. Besides. What stopped Kimagure? Nothing. Kimagure did what would give her gain. Putting Karama below her as a creature most certainly was a valid gain. Would Kimagure do that? Yes. Had she? No idea.

Karama would never know. She wasn't about to ask. All she knew was she was to be met with failure after failure. She would lose whatever gained, one way or another.

She looked back at Bliz, wordless. What did he know? Just what did he know? How much of her collection of failures did he know about? She studied whatever detail she could catch about the male, visually, yearning to grab even the smallest piece of the puzzle that would guide her to know what information he may possess. "Unajua nini?" The whisper hissed, slithering through her still-clenched teeth, desperately hushed, yet dangerous and sharp. "What do you know that you see me like that? What is it that you see me so vulnerable? Who speaks of me!?" The demands for answers flew out of her mouth to a point where Karama couldn't hold back. She had to know what formed his opinion of her. She had to know what it was that made him act in such a way to imply her weakness.

OC: Unajua nini? = What do you know? (Swahili)


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
Art by Aviaku | Coding by Mewwn

Bliz

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#8
Bliz wasn't sure what to expect from her. Not that he ever did. She told him to shut up and he quickly shut his maw. He just sheepishly looked at is paws why he shuffled them. Wondering what to do. He was angry this want going how he wanted. She just seemed so insulted that he wanted to check on her. That he wanted to protect her. And he didn't get why she was so mad at him. If she didn't want him to protect her then she wouldn't be mad he failed right? It was quiet for a few moments. Lost to what to do. When suddenly she looked up at him. For a second his form perked up. Thinking maybe they could talk now. But then a hissed tone reached his ears in a language he didn't understand. Soon followed by her demanding to know what he knew. Demanding to know who told him. At this point he was not going to sit here and take her emotional outlashing. His ears pinned to his skull and with a tone to match her own he spoke. It was almost calm with dark undertones. Like when you know a storm was forming but not yet showing. "No one told me anything. I don't know anything about you Karama. All I know is what I have seen from you. You are strong spirited. Angry. And cant keep your fucking mouth shut. I have seen you lose greatly since your sons death. And from that one time I have seen you show deep emotion not covered in your sass it seemed to me you have self image issues. Maybe the reason you think everyone see you as vulnerable is because that's how you see yourself. I have never thought you as weak or vulnerable. I simply wanted to help protect you because I thought we were friend. Not because I thought you went capable. I saw what you did to the dogs that killed Aesir. But before you go around assuming everyone thinks of you in a certain light. Maybe you should take a good look at yourself. Not everyone is your enemy." He knew he spoke a lot. But he attempted to not break eye contact as he spoke. His acid green eyes attempting to stare into her dark brown ones. He didn't know if half of what he said was true. But when they spoke during her sons death she expressed how nothing she did seem to be right. So through that he assumed she had and issue with herself and placed that blame on others. Because she didn't want to think it was her thinking those things about herself.

Karama

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#9
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
Bliz denied being told anything. Part of her was inclined to call him out as a liar. To demand once more who told him what. Oh, but what proof did she have he was lying other than her own emotional ideas? She knew she was hotheaded and sometimes downright reckless. Shikikan proved that. Would she admit such a thing? Unlikely. Admitting to be the one at true fault simply felt far too humiliating. It killed her to ever consider herself to be her own source of problems.

You have self image issues.

The spotted hyena hasn’t stopped listening, even for a moment, but she couldn’t help the actual display of showing her attention after that point. Bliz’s toxic green eyes felt sickening to look at. Why, though, did such ‘misinformation’ feel so offensive if it wasn’t so? That one day, the day Aesir had died, she welcomed the emotional release that Bliz had provided. As good as it had felt, Karama was hesitant to make such a thing a habit.

Self image issues. Bullshit was what it was. ”I see myself as anything except vulnerable.” She sneered as she ripped her gaze away from the feline—she wasn’t going to sit here while Bliz told her how she saw herself. Karama knew what kind of image she had on herself.

But what had she ever achieved in life?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

When she died, what would she be remembered for? The pissed off hyena that couldn’t even fight off two different rapists? The reckless hyena that turned away a chance at success when it was right in front of her? The lost hyena that lost a beaten hostage to a bird? The foul mouthed hyena that almost died in seconds uttering slight disrespect? She had achieved nothing but scars, mental and physical. She gained, only briefly, and lost at every turn. She was... how old now? Definitely past the age someone from her homeland would have made magnificent legacies. How much longer did she have?

She was absolutely a failure if anything. She refused to admit Bliz was right. She couldn’t. Even if she was willing, the words would never form themselves. Instead, she would do it in her own way, without the effort of directly admitting something so sickening. ”The need to lash out is constant.” She commented, tone drastically brought down to a more natural level. ”I am idle, I get nowhere. I attack, I get nowhere. Both have the same results, but the latter has always been far more worth it—it feels damn good.” And how could she give up a mechanic that not only felt more desirable in the form of releasing energy, but also a mechanic that made her feel on top, even if for just the moment? She couldn’t.


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
Art by Aviaku | Coding by Mewwn

Bliz

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#10
Bliz listend to her sneer back at him. He wasn't going to push the issue further if she had nothing she wanted to say about it. So he simply just watched her. But then she continued. Her tone relaxed a bit. Seeming a little less angry. Agreeing her lashing out was the same. That provoked a small chuckle from the man. As at least she could be true about that. He believed she didn't think of her self as vulnerable. Though he felt she pushed the blame off to someone else so she wouldn't have to deal with it. But again, it wasn't his place to tell her what he thought. His option didn't seem to be wanted. She then continued to speak about how she felt she couldn't get anywhere. She would idle or fight and still get the same response.

Wanted to make sure he wasn't just blowing smoke he thought about it for a moment. Thinking of his own past life. Maybe you getting nowhere is a sign to take another path..." He paused a moment. "I get how great battle feels. The rush of emotion. Of power. It has always been an outlet for me back before I.." he paused again. Feeling weird to tell her something. He tilted his head a moment at her and asked her a question. "Karama, how old do you think I am?" It was a simple question of curiously. He knew what age his body felt. But in reality he was really far older. He was about four when he died. But he was dead for around nine years before showing up in omne. Making him around... fifteen or so if he had lived a normal life. But instead the Gods saw fit to bring him here. A second chance.

Karama

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#11
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
Bliz suggested the need to take an alternative path, and the hyena shifted her weight with frustration. Another path. She felt like she tried everything. What else could she do past being passive and being aggressive? Did he not hear her? She had exhausted what was possible. She supposed she could appreciate his attempt to relate, but it felt so flat and untrue. How could he understand? How was it that any relative of Uzoh could succeed except her? Mothers. Sisters. Cousins. Aunts. She was supposed to be a matriarch. She was supposed to be a dictator. She was supposed to be something. Not a subordinate. Anything but a slave.

Then Bliz asked a weird question. How old was he? What was it with people having such weird questions as of late? She took a moment to let his scent flow into her nostrils, taking a moment to register the details. Scent told her that he wasn’t too old. Maybe a little younger than her own age, but not by far. ”Just a little past five.” This question better have a point. She wondered if it would relate to what the male was about to say before he trailed off. She had caught that, but couldn’t find the need to put in the effort for that. If it mattered, he would say it.

Take another path. How stupid to suggest when she’s done all she could. Mistake after mistake. It was like nature wanted her to fail.


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
Art by Aviaku | Coding by Mewwn

Bliz

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#12
Bliz could tell she was frustrated at what he was saying. He hoped what he had to say next might make her feel better. He chuckled a bit at her guess. It was only natural for her to assume he was the age his body felt now. He attempted to looked directly into her eyes. Well eye, but not flinching at the wound on her face. "Im about fifteen Karama." He said it as plainly as he could. A simple fact. Then after a moment he continued. "I know you probably don't want to hear about my life. But. As I know some.. Sensitive things about you, I figured I should offer you some information about me. I have been dead for nine year.. which is why Im not the best at this. At socializing in general. Not only that but I basically raised myself.. When I was very young, a group of raiders attacked my family. I watched as those I loved were slaughtered, enslaved, and raped. My own mother and sister included. I still don't know what happened to Snow. But I watched as my mother died trying to protect us. Then I ran. I was helpless to do anything. When I found a new group to take me in.. the queen was rather strict, and uncaring of me. I just did what I wanted and stayed out of trouble. Once I reached adulthood. The queens brother had taken the throne. Then went missing. So I stepped up. And was king. But after I claimed the title I was beaten by a pawn. Forced out once again. It wasn't all bad.. I had made a friend, and we traveled together.. eventually.. I.. I loved her.. but I was to much of a coward to tell her. Then that damn pawn.. He killed me. Before I ever got the chance. I was then forced to just watch from then on. As she lived her life. Loved another. Had cubs.. I lost it all." He spoke with deep emotions. His face growing grave and dark as he spoke. He at this point felt he talked a bit much and wanted to see if she had a comment to it. He wanted to finish. But he wanted to give her time to process what he had said.

Karama

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#13
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
Fifteen, huh? Karama hadn't thought someone could live so long. Maybe felines were different, though. She stared, her good eye subtly flashing with a wave of curiosity. He didn't look aged. He moved as if he were in his prime. She didn't see any obvious graying or dulling of the fur. She would have never guessed him to be so old. Karama turned her head, twisting so she looked at her own ashy fur. She wasn't old enough to start flashing white furs, was she? Nah. She couldn't be much older than 7, right? Had she kept track of the days consistently? How old would she live to be? She looked toward Bliz. How old would he live to be? Then Bliz continued on, and the hyena recalled the current situation. Her curiosity faded, overshadowed by an unspoken frustration. No, she didn't really want to hear about his life. Then again. Maybe she could just zone out while he rambled. Spared Karama the energy of talking. She was getting rather sleepy at the moment. An inconveniencing effect of her need to lash out.

But, try as she might, zoning out wouldn't happen. Was zoning out something one needed to try, or did it just happen whenever? Oh well. She kept sitting up, despite the urge to lay presenting itself. Her legs refused to move in that case. So she just sat there, swaying slightly to occupy herself as she listened half-heartedly. Unexpectedly, she found the more he spoke, the closer she found herself listening. Nine years? How did one keep track of such? What was being dead like? She continued to softly sway, letting the male speak, leaving the words open to crawl into her ears. So Bliz had it all. Then lost it. Not only that, but he got the bitter privilege of watching what he lost resume without him. How sickening of an idea that was. He got to watch as someone else got to thrive with what he lost.

Just like Karama got to watch Aesir and Kimagure thrive as mother and son. Karama, erased. She felt like she had tried so hard. Why was it that she apparently was destined to lose him to Kimagure? Why had her and Aesir's relationship been so unrepairable? Her ears fell, and she turned her head away, debating. Would she dare spill what happened further back in the past? Her swaying increased to full on rocking as she pondered and weighed the pros and cons. Pros, it would probably be something to get off her chest. Pros, she might feel better at relating to Bliz even more. Cons, she admits the first rape. Then again, how much lower in dignity could she be? Cons, she admits to losing, yet again, even if before Omne. Then again, did that leave things any different?

She glanced around, her rocking slowing to a halt. "Aesir was my son. The hyena that died?" She reminded him tensely. "I gave birth to him. I was supposed to raise him. I don't know if you know anything about him, but Kimagure is not related to him, at all. And she acts like he was hers." Just recalling how she acted when Karama tried to bury him made her skin burn furiously. If fur didn't cover her face, it may as well be as red as the blood that covered her that day. "I'm sure it satisfies her to rub that shit in my face. To act like she was his mother. To act like she was meant to raise him." She shook her head. Oh, she would love to know what was going through Kimagure's mind every time she got to display herself above Karama. Oh, why had the woman wasted her time trying to be like the lioness? Because Kimagure was successful. Had everything Karama wanted. A sense of jealousy twisted into a sense of idolization. Now she wanted nothing more than to bail Shison. Bail the rainforest. The other side of Omne might be more pleasant.


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
Art by Aviaku | Coding by Mewwn

Bliz

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#14
Bliz wasn't expecting her to really care about what he had to say. Let alone actually say something back that wasn't sarcastic tongue lashing. Instead she talked about Aesir. The young male that died. He remembered that day pretty well. It marked the start of the darkness fallen on this pride. He didn't know much about him no. But he listened to her say how he was hers. How she felt Kimagure loved to flaunt it in her face basically. That he was Kimagure's, not Karama's. He listened and didn't attempt to touch her. As much as he wanted to lean in and press his head against her shoulder in comfort. It didn't seem like they were close enough for that as much as he wanted to help. "Well... she did raise him while you were away. There was a bond there. Though that is not of your fault you were gone, You cant fault her for feeling that way. Its now the past. As hard as it is. We can be free from our past Karama. The gods here gave us a second chance. Its not going the best right now. But this does not define you. Just like my past does not define me." He spoke truly how he felt. What ever happened to have kept her from raising him wasn't her fault. She didn't leave by choice. At least from what he could gather from their past conversation about him when he was found dead she didn't. She wanted to fix him. She said he was to soft. But it wasn't like she had much of a choice with him. He was already an adult basically when the pride was founded. Following Kimagure. He didn't know when she came back into his life though so he didn't have much more he could say. Other then help her find her strength to get past this.

Karama

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#15
Bliz's response evoked a sense of hot frustration in the hyena's chest. He didn't understand just how bad it was, did he? How insulting it was to have Kimagure constantly swooping in, as if she were better than the hyena? Just because she got to call Aesir son throughout his childhood while his real mother rotted away in the mountains, forgotten and put aside? To be suggested to that Kimagure had the right, even after Karama had returned and tried to insert herself into Aesir's life? She had thought he'd understood the parallels. Then Bliz spouted out even worse philosophies. She scoffed, shaking her head as her good eye bore into Bliz's. "The past doesn't define us? What kind of nonsense is that? Our past makes us who we are!"  Their past influenced what they like and dislike. Who they like and dislike. Helped them learn what to avoid and what to endeavor in. What did he mean, past doesn't define them? What was it with people getting preachy on her? Oh, she was destined to follow an endless loop of false hope, wasn't she?

She shook her head once more as her gaze hovered toward her left. "The past defines me as a bitter hag. A bitter hag that wants everyone as miserable as I am. As unsuccessful and unlucky. Why should I fake a smile for someone when I can find the satisfaction in putting them on my level? And that's only when I give a shit." And she saw nothing more worth leaning towards. Miserable? Make sure no one gets to be happier than you. Make them feel just as helpless and beaten. Keep them from getting too happy, because why should they get to spoil themselves with it when Karama couldn't? "Keep overdosing on optimism and find out just how long you can rely on that." Apparently Bliz didn't know as much as he insisted he did, despite having his own fair share of shit to deal with. That was the difference between the two, she supposed. Karama could see the world for the shithole it was. Bliz couldn't. Apparently older than Karama, yet so naive. He was wasting his time greatly. He would find out, though, sooner or later. May it take a day. Two weeks. Four months. Eight years.

Bliz

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#16
Bliz listened to her reaction. And not to his surprise it was full of anger. Just like normal. She didn't really seem to get what he meant. But perhaps that is due lack of skills to communicate with others well. He never flinched at her tone or stare. Instead he held it with a hard look overcoming his face. Though he noticed that she had looked away as she finished her rant. Looking straight at her he spoke. "Look at me Karama. The only thing defining you as a hateful hag is yourself. Your past is only chained to you through your own self hate. Yes the past shapes us. But you can either chose to live in the bitterness of the world and keep fucking hatting everything. Or you can try to make your life better. You don't have to force a smile for anyone, and by all means keep bringing them to your level by making them hate you like you hate yourself." His tone hard and a bit harsh. He wanted to comfort her. But if she didn't want to see she could be so much more if she stopped living in what she thought she was. He remembered the day of the hunt. The fun they had trying and failing to do their hunts. It was full of sarcasm and challenge. Full of confidence. Which to him, seems as if she mistakes being mean as to being better. He let out a huge sigh after a moment. 

"If you don't want me here I wont be. I will leave you alone. I just thought you would like someone to talk to rather then keep it all to yourself. But it seems as if I cant do anything for you if you wont do anything for yourself." He hated being this way. Hated he couldn't help. But he also wanted to respect her choice. With that he moved, standing and lifiting his leg like he was about to leave, but hesitated, waiting to see if she wanted him to go or not.

Karama

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#17
I'm only joking, I don't believe a thing I've said.
Karama Uzoh
Look at him? Look at him? No thanks. Her muzzle creased, an aggressive acknowledgement to the verbal urge she rejected. Why did he keep on going? He had no clue what he was talking about. The past certainly was chained to the monochromatic hyena, and it always would be. The losses, the betrayals, the false hope--they hardened her. They made her aware to not fall for anything of the such again. She never would. Never again would she grow attached to what she was destined to lose. Never again would she assume someone her ally, only for them to discard her. Never again would she hope for a reason to be truly happy. As he finished, she flashed her teeth in a sarcastic grin as she locked her eyes onto the feline's dark face.

"You're right. And you know what I choose? I choose to continue being as shitty as the world around us. Life will never get better, and I have no idea how you can't see that. Sure. Maybe Shikikan will fall one day and it will free us. But one, will it happen? Two, will we stay free? Absolutely not. One way or another, we will be forced to trade that freedom for something else. We lose, either way, Bliz, and it infuriates me that you just can't see that." She couldn't believe just how naive he was. Why was he so eager to cling to optimism? It did nothing for anyone. Didn't change how anything would turn out. Perhaps it would make things slightly more tolerable--giving yourself a meaningless sense of false happiness and false hope. But what was the point?

Then the feline offered to leave the hyena to her own, and she felt her heart leap eagerly. "Yes, leave me alone. If you want to make up for whatever responsibility you think you failed toward me, you'll leave me handle this myself. I recover best in solitude." Translation: I don't want to deal with anyone until further notice. Her rounded ears pulled back as she turned away, deciding to help Bliz out by walking away from the water to distance herself from the male. If he decided to delay that, then that would be his own fault.

-Exit-


"I can fake it all."
What are you smoking? I'm just a-fuckin' with your head.
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Bliz

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#18
Bliz was furious that she just didn't seem to understand what he was saying. And when he was finished with what he had to stay, she reacted the same way she had already. He felt defeated. His ears and tail dropped as he hear her words. His eyes saddened as he decided that he would leave, but then watched as she turned to leave. He just watched her sadly as he spoke in a soft voice. "Im sorry your life has been so dark Karama. No light. I hope you find it someday." He didn't know if she could even hear him anymore. And truth be told he wasn't sure if he wanted her to. He merely sat there thinking about the exchange. How he had treated her. What he said. And all he could think about was how he must not have been a friend like he thought he was. Sorrow filled him as bits of the depression he had felt upon coming here started creeping back into his soul. He sat there for a good while feeling darker as his own light he thought he found faded. Maybe she was right? Maybe there was nothing one could do about their life. He thought that they could be different if they wanted. And stubbornly he decided for now he would cling to that. If they couldn't make their life better then what was the point of being alive again. 

-exit-


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